So, let’s talk about schizophrenia – the big, scary diagnosis that people think means I am out here having a full-on Fight Club moments in my head, or I am trying to summon a demon in my kitchen. Spoiler alert: it’s not that deep (most of the time).

Yes, I live with schizophrenia. No, I am not secretly plotting world domination or talking to my cabinets. Though if they did start talking to me, I would honestly just roll with it at this point. The truth is that this disorder is complex. It isn’t just hearing voices or seeing things that aren’t there – it’s also brain fog, emotional rollercoasters, trying to get around the paranoia, and constantly asking myself: “was that real, or did my brain throw in an extra feature without asking?”

Let me paint you a picture: imagine you’re trying to live your life, but your brain is running its own episode of Bad Girls Club without your permission. One minute, you’re having a great time. The next minute, your thoughts are doing the most Olympic-level gymnastics, and you’re trying your best to convince yourself that the Amazon delivery man is not a part of an intricate government conspiracy and he is NOT going to kidnap you. It’s a good time.

I am trying to learn to just laugh at it. Because if I don’t laugh, I’m going to spiral into a dramatic meltdown and end up in the hospital again. Sometimes my delusions are oddly creative. I swear some of the stuff they say, they could be opening for John Mulaney. And sometimes, the best way to cope is to acknowledge the chaos, make a funny blog, and move on.

Living with schizophrenia is a trip, but it’s MY trip. And I am learning to manage it with my medication, therapy, dark humor, and a lot of Dunkin Donuts refreshers. If you’re here because you’re struggling too – or you’re just curious – just know that you aren’t alone. We may be a little unhinged, but we are still worthy of love and definitely fun at parties.

Stay medicated and mildly delusional,

Oliver ❤